Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i barfeds in our rink
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
