YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
