If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
