btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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