I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
