Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize