Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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