Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
