Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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