Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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