There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
