Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
