I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
