My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
