Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
