Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I CAN MOONWALK!
he shaved USA in his pubs
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
