He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
