There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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