can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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