check it out our google latitudes are spooning
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
