Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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