If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
