i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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