If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
