if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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