You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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