piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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