Barsexuality is the new black.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
