those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
