It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
