Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
