You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I understand Curling. That high.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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