i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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