but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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