But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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