When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
