office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
