I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
