So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
