I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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