I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
