um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
