My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
