Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
