morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
