walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
