I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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