I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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