we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize