there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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