Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
