Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
