put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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