I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
