4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
