I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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