i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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