Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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