I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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