I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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