ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
