I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
