rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
