Buhtt sex?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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