no. you can't hotbox the world.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
