we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
