Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Randomize
