i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
