im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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