We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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