bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Two words: nipple clamps
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