Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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