Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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