I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
