bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
