Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
