Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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