No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
