So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
